![Angela D. Allen, D\'Lytha Myers and Heidi Wermuth in \"Secrets of a Soccer Mom\"](http://www.theaterjones.com/media/m120203085052.jpg "Angela D. Allen, D\'Lytha Myers and Heidi Wermuth in \\"Secrets of a Soccer Mom\\"")
4 commentsFort Worth — Circle Theatre's production of Kathleen Clark's Secrets of a Soccer Mom begins promisingly.
Director Robin Armstrong has the three actresses playing the soccer moms (Angela D. Allen, D'Lytha Myers and Heidi Wermuth) walk out on the stage in a daze, as if zombies, performing their morning tasks.
They pour cereal in the bowl, do laundry and put their hair up, ready for the day's workout, all as The Judds' version of "Working in the Coal Mine" plays. Turns out, their workout is a day on the sidelines of the soccer field as their kids play.
Who says gossip and commiserating about how hard motherhood is can't be cardio? (OK, there's some jogging in place and stretching, too.)
They're all protective of their kids, and show it in different ways. Nancy (Allen) takes things too literally and loves her wine coolers. Lynn (Wermuth) is the uber-organizer who has probably read too many parenting books. And Alison (Myers) is the perky blonde whose life might seem perfect from the outside, but really, it's not. (Is anyone's?) Alison's story also contains the biggest secret, even if the reveal isn't very surprising.
As they drool over a hottie ref; speak dialogue that occasionally borders on bad stand-up ("what are you making for dinner?" someone yells from off stage, to which Lynn responds "Reservations!"); and pick up tips from a Soccer for Dummies book, the dull tone of the show rarely changes.
The produciton, seen at the third and final preview performance, drones along, offering little insight into what makes these suburban moms tick. Yes, we hear secrets and biographical info about these women, but we don't really get to know these characters. At least not on a level that sustains interest.
It's not like they have to be cartoony over-the-top suburban moms who shag the gardener and dabble in murder, à la Desperate Housewives, but c'mon. They can't seriously be this boring.
The bore factor is mostly because of Clark's script, which is devoid of dramatic, well, anything. But it doesn't help that the performances by Allen and Wermuth remain zombie-like throughout. Maybe they're still in a daze from the morning chores, but they offer nothing in the way of vocal or emotional variation to let us know that there's a human in there.
Myers textures her performance as best she can. Despite being the character some might dislike more than the other two, she becomes the only one for whom we feel anything.
Armstrong's inspired opening comes full circle as the show ends with the moms playing a game against the young'uns, proving they do have some spunk.
Too little, too late.
CORRECTION: The original version of this review mixed up the actresses playing Lynn and Alison. It has been fixed. TheaterJones regrets the error. 
