The world is getting hotter, there’s unrest overseas (actually, the seas themselves aren’t very calm either) and in an IKEA a man suggests to his partner that they should have a child. What if it grows up to solve the world’s problems? What if it becomes a mass murderer? What about its carbon footprint? They leave with nothing they went in for, but come out with a full set of self-assembly dilemmas that they spend a life cycle trying to construct. They want to have a child for the right reasons. But what are the right reasons?