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ASK ARMIN

Armin Zaphiratous

It's Nuts Out There

And that's why Armin has advice on performing for a small audience, and studying theater in New York.



published Friday, June 24, 2011

Dear Armin,

How do you feel about performing when there are fewer people in the audience than on stage?

Thanks, S

 

Dear S,

I was in a show once where a cast of four of us performed for one turd burglar who slept through half of the show. We noticed and stopped doing the show and just chatted for a while. When he snored himself awake we jumped ahead in the show about a half hour. Another time with a cast of four we performed for the producer, the director, the director's friend, and an awards committee member. We were not nominated for any of those awards. Those were stupid awards anyway. So, I know performing for crickets sucks but that's what we get for being a part of a dying art. You just gotta nut up and do it. Seriously. Nut. Up. — YOURS, ARMIN

 

Dear Armin,

I'm getting ready to begin applying to college for theater. When people ask me where I'd like to go to college, I automatically name somewhere in New York, as cliché as my answer sounds. I believe that, like all five billion people who are trying to pursue a career in acting, New York is the best place to start for someone like me, even if I end up completely falling flat on my face or losing every cent I have. However, after answering these interested people, I question my answer. Is New York the best place for an aspiring actor to begin?

Thanks, F

 

Dear F,

Here are two scenes that illustrate my feelings on this subject.

 

SCENE 1 Wherein a theater professional discovers that another theater professional went to NYU.

Theater Professional 1: Oh! I see you went to NYU!

Theater Professional 2: I certainly did.

Theater Professional 1: Nice.

 

SCENE 2 Wherein a theater professional discovers that another theater professional went to SFA.

Theater Professional 1: Where did you go to school?

Theater Professional 2: SFA.

Theater Professional 1: Huh?

Theater Professional 2: SFA.

Theater Professional 1: Oh. Where's that?

Theater Professional 2: Nacogdoches.

Theater Professional 1: Huh?

Theater Professional 2: Nacogdoches.

Theater Professional 1: Oh. Where's that?

Theater Professional 2: Texas.

Theater Professional 1: I've heard of Texas.

Theater Professional 2: Most people have.

Theater Professional 1: Tell me, did horses teach your classes?

Theater Professional 2: You bet your ass they did.

— YOURS, ARMIN

 

Ask Armin something, via AskArmin@TheaterJones.com. Go on and ask. When he doesn't have enough queries to ponder, he bothers the hell out of the TheaterJones editor. Also, TJ doesn't stand by or even agree with all of Armin's advice. So don't hold us responsible if things go terribly wrong.

Also, Armin is now on Facebook. Friend him. And, again, don't blame us. Thanks For Reading





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It's Nuts Out There
And that's why Armin has advice on performing for a small audience, and studying theater in New York.
by Armin Zaphiratous

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