Armin Zaphiratous

Golly Glee

Armin on becoming and actor, and high schoolers who break out into song.

published Friday, June 3, 2011

Dear Armin,

I am constantly being asked "How can I become and actor?"—so much so it's becoming annoying because what I tell them is not what they want to hear. I tell them to "start doing some free stuff and make connections, then build your way up from the bottom, hard work is the best way to go." I think they want to hear me say, "Wait in line for a reality show and get discovered, should only take you a few days!" Are people so lazy to think they don't have to work anymore to get an acting career? — Thanks, D.


Dear D.,

How constant is "constant"? Are you being asked right now? What about now? Now? Stop reading this now and then come back to it in five minutes. Go...OK, welcome back. Did anyone ask you how to become an actor while you were away? When you're in the shower do people pop their heads in and say, "How do I become an actor?!?! Oh, my god what's that on your torso?!!?" Of course they don't. I suspect the reason you're so bitter about this neverending supply of "lazy" people is because you worked hard to achieve whatever but wished you could have just filled your mouth with milk, let your dog lick it out on camera, and made a boatload as that disgusting milk guy with that poor dog. That didn't happen for you. But it may happen for someone else. So, next time you're approached by one of your million advice seekers swallow your pride and give them options. Here are the options as I see them (in no particular order): 1. Work your butt off doing a bunch of crap you don't want to do because it may give you a better chance to do some crap you do want to do. 2. Wait in line to audition for a reality show. 3. Find a creepy director and slut it up. 4. Have you ever done any amateur porn? — YOURS, ARMIN


Dear Armin,

Have you seen Glee? How is it like your high school experience? — Tara


Dear Tara,

I have seen it and it was exactly like my high school experience except none of our students were in their late 20s, no one ever broke into song, and we had more than three ugly kids in our school. Also, our school didn't suck quite as much as Glee sucks. I mean, it sucked. But just not as much as Glee. -YOURS, ARMIN


Ask Armin something, via Go on and ask. When he doesn't have enough queries to ponder, he bothers the hell out of the TheaterJones editor. Also, TJ doesn't stand by or even agree with all of Armin's advice. So don't hold us responsible if things go terribly wrong.

Also, Armin is now on Facebook. Friend him. And, again, don't blame us. Thanks For Reading

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Golly Glee
Armin on becoming and actor, and high schoolers who break out into song.
by Armin Zaphiratous

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