Grinch? Scrooge? Have You Met Armin?

Our advice guru is back after a short hiatus. This week: holiday shows and lying to your friends about their work.

published Friday, December 24, 2010

Dear Armin,

Have you ever played Scrooge and what did it teach you? — Amber

Dear Amber,

I have played Scrooge and it taught me that I hate A Christmas Carol, Christmas carols, Charles Dickens, children in general (the twerp playing Tiny Tim in freaking specific) Christmas, figgy pudding, holiday cheer, student matinees, Robert Halls (the director), Becky Stock (the costumer), merry dances, laughter, Fred, student matinees, and of course, STUDENT MATINEES! Bah-Humbug and suck it, Santa! — YOURS, ARMIN


Dear Armin,

As an actor, I see as many Broadway / Off-Broadway theater as I can. Invariably, a newish show trickles down south and some of my friends are cast in a local production. How do I tell them, tactfully, that I don't want the memory of that original fine wine to be tainted by the local brew they're about to foist upon me? And, if I must see their show, I need some new noncommittal comments. I think they're starting to see through "Wow, I didn't know you had that in you!" and "God, I love that script." Any ideas?

Dear Fine Wine,

Here's what you should do: Pay close attention to what your friends say to you after they see one of your shows, because if you haven't noticed, they're thinking the same thing about your work. What?! — YOURS, ARMIN


Dear Armin,

What's your favorite Christmas play? T.K.

Dear T.K.,

A Long Day's Journey Into Night. — YOURS, ARMIN


Ask Armin something, via Go on and ask. When he doesn't have enough queries to ponder, he bothers the hell out of the TheaterJones editor. Also, TJ doesn't stand by or even agree with all of Armin's advice. So don't hold us responsible if things go terribly wrong. Thanks For Reading

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Grinch? Scrooge? Have You Met Armin?
Our advice guru is back after a short hiatus. This week: holiday shows and lying to your friends about their work.
by Armin Zaphiratous

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