Character Study

What do you do if you're in love with a character on the same stage as you? Run.

published Friday, November 19, 2010

Dear Armin,

Can you be in love with a character in a play? Not the actor playing him, because he’s a shit off stage. But the character is my perfect man. What to do?

Dear Lover,

I feel ya. I've been in love with every Blanche Dubois I've ever been around. What can I say, I have a thing for deeply damaged and slutty women. In fact, I married one. Hi, honey! Love you bunches! So, I suggest staying away from this guy. ― YOURS, ARMIN



A respected playwright saw our production of his play, and told me to never act in one of his works again. He’s an idol of mine, but now I’m sad. I’m not sure I can go on living. :(

Dear :(,

There there, boo-boo. I'm sorry you're sad. It will get better. (Probably.) There's nothing you can do in this situation but get cast in every one of his plays you can and send him every clipping with a little note that says, "Suck on this you stinky jackwagon!" or something to that effect. Remember, when someone hurts you revenge is always in order. ― YOURS, ARMIN


Dear Armin,

Would it be considered rude to make myself a better costume than the one our costume designer has “made” for me? I mean, I don’t mind the colors and style, it works with the period of the play and the character. But the woman can’t sew. The stuff doesn’t fit at all. I need to be comfortable onstage.

Dear Awesome,

Yes, it would be extremely rude. All the more reason! A costumer who can't sew is like a seal that can't balance a ball on its nose, useless, and should be eaten by a Killer Whale. ― YOURS, ARMIN 


Ask Armin something, via Go on and ask. When he doesn't have enough queries to ponder, he bothers the hell out of the TheaterJones editor. Also, TJ doesn't stand by or even agree with all of Armin's advice. So don't hold us responsible if things go terribly wrong.
 Thanks For Reading

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Character Study
What do you do if you're in love with a character on the same stage as you? Run.
by Armin Zaphiratous

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