Armin Zaphiratous

Scary Moves

Typecasting? Stage fright? Evil dance captains? Armin knows how to take care of'em.

published Friday, October 1, 2010

►Dear Armin,

What’s the best way to get over stage fright? ― Scaredy

Dear Scaredy,

Positive visualization is the key to overcoming any fear. I used to be scared to death of going to swingers clubs. I pictured gimps and roots drooling over me and it scared me to death. Once my wife convinced me to visualize attractive people drooling over me, I was willing to give it a try. Trembling like a leaf, I entered my first club and the rest, as they say, is swinger history. So, picture yourself rockin' the stage like a hurricane and you'll be just fine. ― YOURS, ARMIN

►Dear Armin,

Have you ever been cast as Santa Claus or Hemingway? What’s your opinion on typecasting? ― P.P.

Dear P.P.,

I've never played Ernie but he did punch me in the mouth once. That guy punched everybody. What a card. Also, my six pack has prevented me from playing jolly old St. Nick. Of course, “six pack” is what I call my drinking problem. Regarding your second question, I think you'll find that a very high percentage of working/successful actors have a very obvious type and they embrace it.  Look up Glenn Morshower, a proud Dallasite, on and you'll find that he has played a military officer in every movie made in the last 15 years. He has said, “Establish visual contact!” more than any actor on the planet. Not bad work if you can get it. ― YOURS, ARMIN

►Dear Armin,

The dance captain in the show I’m in is a complete beyotch, just because she can be. Goes off on us for no good reason; we’re talking full-out Jerome Robbins-crazy (minus the talent). If I accidentally kill her, that’ll make for a good story, right? ― Dancin' Gal

Dear Dancin' Gal,

It will be a much better story if you kill her on purpose and pretend it’s an accident. But just so we’re clear, I am not advising you to do so. I'm also not advising you to use poison. ― YOURS, ARMIN

We invite you to Ask Armin via email at Go on and ask. When he doesn't have enough queries to ponder, he bothers the hell out of the TheaterJones editors. Also, we don't stand by or even agree with all of Armin's advice. So don't hold us responsible if things go terribly wrong.
 Thanks For Reading

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Scary Moves
Typecasting? Stage fright? Evil dance captains? Armin knows how to take care of'em.
by Armin Zaphiratous

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