Armin Zaphiratous

Don't Put His Baby in a Corner

Armin on critics, the Greeks and his favorite playwright.

published Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dear Armin:

Who's your favorite playwright to perform? Thanks, Curious

Sven Yorkin, hands down. He was the single most insane person I've ever met. In 1965 I was lucky enough to be involved in the premiere of his play, The Terrible Death and Subsequent Insanity of Sven Yorkin. It didn't make a damn lick of sense and was very, embarrassingly earnest. He constantly referred to the play as his "baby." He would say things like "I am trusting you with my baby" and "you have to feed my baby" and "honor my baby." The director once suggested a script change and Sven accused him of wanting to cut off his baby's fingers. God, I loved that man. Sven's career was cut short when he tragically jumped off of a building.—YOURS, ARMIN

Dear Armin,

There’s a critic in town who is clearly after me. He doesn’t like anything I do, and goes out of his way to spend more time on my performances, even when I’m in a small role. Should I confront this guy? Write his editors? W.

Dear W.,

If you complain about a critic "not liking you" then you are a whiny bitch. Just my humble opinion. If you would like to fight me, please e-mail and name a place.—YOURS, ARMIN

Dear Armin,

As an Armenian, what’s your opinion on the Greeks? Love, A Greek

Dear Greeky,

Love 'em! They were the first country to acknowledge the Armenian Genocide perpetuated by the Ottoman Empire after WWI, so I give the Greeks, as the kids say, mad props. I also love Greek women despite the 100 percent woman-to-mustache ratio. In fact, as a confirmed old bi-sexual, a woman with a mustache is the best of both worlds.—YOURS, ARMIN 


We invite you to Ask Armin via email at Go on and ask. When he doesn't have enough queries to ponder, he bothers the hell out of the TheaterJones editors. Also, we don't stand by or even agree with all of Armin's advice. So don't hold us responsible if things go terribly wrong. Thanks For Reading

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Don't Put His Baby in a Corner
Armin on critics, the Greeks and his favorite playwright.
by Armin Zaphiratous

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